According to that extremely reliable gutter rag, 'The Sun'. Cheryl is planning to sell the house and buy a place on the West side of London because it will be more convenient for work and for getting to and from the airport so she can see Derek on a regular basis. I can't say I'm to fussed about moving to the posh part of London because the house is likely to be smaller and all the bitches will be so up themselves that I won't get a look in. My sex life will consist of sucking my knob and the odd sympathy shag from Coco.
Just as I was getting over that shocking piece of news I then read in the Mail that Cheryl and Derek aren't really an item at all and that it is all a big scam to confuse the papparazzi. Surely clever wouldn't go to all that trouble just to get one over on the press. Next they will be claiming that the entire Malaria scare was also a scam.
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