Decided to keep a low profile today, Ash is in a mood because he went all the way to Hull and only came back with a point. If we can't beat that bunch of donkeys what chance have got of finishing above the Manchester mob.
Simon has cried off from Britains Got Talent auditions in Birmingham because he's got flu! I'm not sure if it was the prospects of having to listen to the Brummie accent all day that did for him or if he is just fed up of having to sit next to Piers Morgan and Amanda all day that made him throw a duvet day. What do Piers and Amanda actually know about talent? Piers used to be a gossip columnist who some how became editor at Mirror before he was chucked out on his ear and Amanda used to think that Les Dennis was so talented that she married him.
The Daily Mail had the nerve today to claim that Cheryl uses botox in a bottle to achieve her good looks. What a load of twaddle Cheryl might buy bottles of snake venom but she doesn't actually use it because I steal it from the fridge and then replace it with my piss. So if Cheryl is looking gorgeous at the moment it's all down to my urine rather than any expensive snake venom. If my piss really does have special powers then may be I should bottle it and sell it on the Internet
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