Off with the Hoff

Looks like Cowell has fallen out with the Hoff and given him the boot from BGT.  The Hoff was pretty rubbish has a judge but he provided plenty of entertainment. I'm sure Simon will find another drone to take his place who is better at following orders.

Ashley looks safe

Chelsea have bought no new left back so Ash looks safe for another year.

Ex-con factor

The producers of X-factor and so desperate to whip interest in the show that they are leaking stories to the press about how ex-cons are taking part in the show.  Why are they making such a big deal about this especially when they have had an ex-con as a judge in the past.  I've no doubt that in weeks to come we will  be reading stories about sex, drug taking and benefit fraud. Proof if proof was needed that Cowell is still pulling all the strings on the show even when he's in the USA.

Cheryl's TV comeback

Cheryl has been offered a series of prime-time slots for ITV, including a possible chat show, they must be lining her up to replace that slimey slug Piers Morgan. I can't see Piers rushing to comeback to Britain now that he's been accused of phone hacking. But does Cheryl really want to host a chat show? On a chat show she won't really havea chance to show off her talents unless she is allowed to sing with guests on the show. Charlotte Church had ago at doing a chat show and it was fairly dire.

What has become of Alexandra Burke

When Alexandra Burke won X-factor with Cheryl's help a lot was expected of her but tonight she is supporting Tini Temper playing to a bunch of pissed up British holiday makers in Spain. Another great success story for the X-factor.

Cheryl blamed for heating disorder.

A girl who lost 3 stone in weight and developed an eating disorder has tried to blame it on Cheryl. How silly is that? If people want to get slim they just have to eat less and exercise more they don't have to starve to death or throw up after every meal.

More rumours are circulating about Ash and Cheryl getting back together with the usual idiots wading in telling Cheryl not to do it, none of these idiots know anything about what Ash and Cheryl are like in private so they should butt out.

Is that a compliment?

Simon Cowell has given an interview claiming that Cheryl is just like Princess Di because people mob her where ever she goes or what ever she does. But surely you could say the same about Jordan or Jade Goody. Simon is clearly trying to creep around Cheryl so she will make a guest appearance on this years X-factor. It would make good TV for her to perform in front of the current judging panel and then asking them to comment.

The silly season.

At this time of year there always lots of stupid stories in the paper as journalist try and come up with scoops when news is thin on the ground. The latest pile of pooh to come out of Wapping is that Cheryl is thinking of giving up show business.  Why on earth would she do that? If she did give up singing and appearing in adverts she would still be mobbed whenever she was out in public so she may as well keep making money out of being famous and use it to pay for plenty of security guards and electric fences around her home.

Return of the Jedward

I can't believe those talentless twins are back on the box. Isn't it about time that z-list celebs are told they are only allowed on two reality shows and then they must disappear forever more. Celebrity Big Brother was bad enough on Channel 4 but now it's moved to Channel 5 it's gone beyond a joke. I don't recognise half the celebs and those I do recognise I can't stand. People are fed up with Kerry Katona and Jedward so get them off the telly. Better still lock them all in a big house and leave them there.

Tell us something we don't know.

Simon Cowell reckons that this years X-factor is better without him.  Well any idiot knows that. All Simon is concerned about is his ego. Simon doesn't care who wins as long as he is the one pulling all the strings.

Cheryl's body guard spills the beans.

I can't believe that Cheryl's former body guard has gone running to the papers with all her secrets, what a total shit.  Hopefully other celebs and sports personalities will have taken note of his despicable behaviour and he will never get another well paid job as a celebrity minder. I wonder how he would feel if Cheryl went to the papers and told tales about him being a lazy useless tosser.

Simon Cowell is so determined to stay healthy, he regularly receives vitamin shots during business meetings. I'd love to be the person who has to stick those needles in his arse.

Car crash TV

I wasn't going to watch X-factor because Cheryl wasn't on but in the end I weakened because there was nothing else to watch. What a waste of time. The new judges are a joke and most of the acts were dreadful. At one point when one of the acts started to get stroppy Dermot tried to get all macho. This show has got to improve pretty vast or else viewing figures will soon start to plummet. Ash and the lads made hard work of beating the Baggies but at least they have 3 points in the bag so they are on the right path. They just need Torres to start getting the ball in the net.

Why did Camilla not adopt me?

Apparently Camilla was so taken by a dog at a rescue centre that she has decided to adopt it, if she wanted a poor neglected dog why didn't she go for me? I'm abandoned most of the year, I come from a broken home and I have to spend loads of time living in Newcastle.

Cheryl now has a 'Fairy Godfather.

Cheryl's Cole’s “Fairy Godfather” Will.i.am has lined her up a top producer to make her a solo star in the States. As her manager, Will is even taking a break from his band The Black Eyed Peas to arrange a string of collaborations for the Geordie singer – first and foremost with instant hit-maker and close buddy David Guetta.

I'm sure she is looking forward to being a big success in the States so she can stick two fingers up to Simon Cowell.

I'm already bored with X-factor!

Even though X-factor doesn't start until Saturday I'm already bored to tears hearing about it. There seems to have been a long stream of pointless stories all aimed at trying to generate publicity for the show. But if you strip out all the hype what are we left with? Louis and Gary are both very nice but they are as boring as hell especially without Simon to wind them up. Kelly and Tulula are equally dull and have very little new to offer.
Tulula has promised not to get angry on set - but warned she will be rude to anyone who offends her. Wow can't wait to see that.

I think I might give the show a miss this year and go cruising in the park instead. Lets face it all the slappers and air-heads will be in watching telly so all the bitches at the park will at least be slightly more sophisticated than the usual crowd you find down there.

Flogging a dead horse.

Isn't it time X-factor was put out to grass? Simon Cowell is said to be planning free booze for contestants in the 'X Factor' in an effort to capture as much "sex and scandal" as possible in this year's series. Does this mean there will be an Amy Winehouse night?

Little Louis gets his claws up.

Louis has been having a dig at Simon saying that X-factor will be fine without him.

Simon jumps on another bandwagon

Simon Cowell has jumped on the rioting bandwagon by donating £50,000 to a fund to help those affected by the riots in the U.K, when will he give some money to help those people affected by watching X-factor.

Finally some Glee for Cheryl

Yesterday it was a movie role today it's a guest slot on Glee.  Cheryl is clearly launching her comeback. What will it be next an appearance on Question Time or will she be a surprise contestant on the new Big Brother?

Cheryl to appear in a film.

Cheryl is to make an appearance in a film alongside Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez.

A tweet from Cheryl's PR said: "Cheryl Cole is confirmed for a small cameo appearance in the film What To Expect When You're Expecting."

The storyline focusses on the lives of four couples during pregnancy.

There's no confirmation about what role she'll take but there are reports she'll play a TV talent show judge. Well she knows nothing about being pregant and nothing about being a talent show judge in America so the film should be right up her street.

How silly?

Kimberley Walsh swears bandmate Nadine Coyle’s body is so fragile that it “hurts” if she tries to run. How could anyone be so stupid to get so thin that it could damage their health. She's obviously got too much time on her hands if she can spend so much time dieting and exercising. May be it's time the girls got back together and did some proper work.

Ash gets a night off.

Thanks to all the rioting and looting the England match has been called off so Ash has managed to have the night off.  Hope he's not done something silly like going out clubbing with some page 3 floozy who will sell her story to the papers even before she's had her breakfast.

Let me at the looters.

I was very shocked to see the all those young people rioting and looting on the streets of London. While lots of people are calling for the police to be given plastic bullets and water canon why are they not sending in the dogs.  A few fierce dog like me would soon have these trouble-makers running for cover.

Vajazzled dogs!

A dog groomer is offering a "vajazzling" service for dogs using dye, stick-on sparkles and even fairy wings. What dog in it's right mind would wanted to be seen wearing bloody fairy wings. Any dog who turned up to the park 'vajazzled' would become a laughing stock.

More rumours are circulating that Cheryl is moving back in with Ashley. It must be the silly season if journalist are writing this kind of tosh without having a shred of evidence to back up the claim.

Cheryl the hermit

It would appear that Cheryl is keeping something of a low profile over in he states rarely leaving her hotel room and having all her food delivered by room service. This could mean a number of things, she may have a new bloke locked in the room with her, she may be suffering from depression or the most logical explanation is that she hard at work on a new album.

Simon says he regrets sacking Cheryl

Simon Cowell now claims that he has regrets about sacking Cheryl from US X-factor.  Sadly it is hard to tell if he really means it or if he is simply trying to gain even more news coverage from the story. I thought he originally tried   to make out that the decision to sack her was out of his hands, if that was the case how can he claim to have any regrets.

Ash was actually portrayed in a good light for once in the media. A reporter on Football Focus interviewed him while in was in New York. Ash was able to deny many of the silly stories written about him and he also pointed out that if he tried to correct every false story about him in the papers he would be on the phone 24/7  

Will.Iam is back.

The papers are full of pics of Cheryl out on the town with Will.Iam in Cannes. Presumably this is because he is producing a record with her but that is too simple for the papers they love to read too much into it. Some papers suggest they are getting it together while others think she is sending some kind of message to Ash. I just wish she would just remarry Ash just to piss off all the papers.

The new judge on X-factor seems to have been transformed into a Cheryl lookalike. Is that what Simon set out to achieve a discounted version of Cheryl? I wonder if he will now try and find someone who looks a bit like Louis Walsh but who will only expect to receive a tenth of his fees.

Perhaps there is also a Cowell lookalike out there somewhere. But if you did look too much like Simon you would try not to go out too much just in case someone tries to deck you.

Just what Simon needs.

Apparently Simon Cowell is off on holiday. When you own as many luxury villas as Simon and you are driven everywhere in posh cars and you are waited on hand and foot all the time how do you no the difference between going on holiday and an average week at the office.

Three hours of X-factor?

According to one rag the new series of X-factor will feature shows lasting 3 hours. How sad would you have to spend 3 hours on a Saturday night watching X-factor?  No wonder Cheryl was keen to get out of being a judge. How can you possibly drag the show out for 3 hours? I can only assume they just going to include more adverts and longer adverts.

Cher is showing her true colours

Cher Lloyd has been having a dig at Cheryl claiming that Girl's Aloud were cheesy and saying that Cheryl hasn't spoken to her since X-factor finished.  She is now even saying she looks nothing like Cheryl and has never tried to be like her, what a lying cow.

During X-factor she made out that they were like sisters and that Cheryl was always  on the phone now she says she never even had Cheryl's number.

Six months from now the only work available to her will be singing our song in the Euro song contest!