Simon Cowell claims he's become areal softie since hitching up with his new woman, that obviously why he's having to use so much Viagra. Why does he have to keep going on about his love life? Do I keep refering to how many bitches I get acquainted with in the park?

Ash is going to be starting on the bench tomorrow against Spurs, after spending so long on the naughty step, moving up to the bench is progress I suppose.

I can't believe how every one keeps banging on about the election, from what I can see none of the party leaders own dogs so what do they know about anthing?