Lucky dogs.

A woman in New York, estimates she has spent almost $200,000 (£120,000) on her beloved chihuahuas Aspen, Winston, Havanah, Ryleigh, Lola and Beckham so far. She's even made one of them a wedding dress in the style of the Duchess of Cambridge's lavish gown. Why doesn't Cheryl spend that kind of money on me?


Cher claims she wants to be as rich as Simon Cowell.  She will need plenty of lucky heather to make as much money as that.

Is Ash buying Cheryl's old clothes

With so many silly bids being made for Cheryl's old clothes I'm beginning to think Ash may be doing some of the bidding, it would certainly help him to get back into her good  books again.

Cheryl is selling her clothes on Ebay

I couldn't believe my eyes when I read a headline saying that Cheryl was selling her clothes on E-bay. I thought perhaps she's got money problems but then I discovered she was only doing it for charity.  Perhaps if she makes lots of money she might become the 'Peoples Princess' once again.

When will Cheryl start signing on?

Having not had a proper job for 6 months I wonder when Cheryl will start claiming the dole? She's paid all of her taxes so she is entitled to her benefits. If I was her I'd be claiming as soon as possible just in case Cowell hasn't been putting money aside for her pension.She doesn't want to be working till she 80 like Brucie.

Have Chelsea run out of money?

After splashing out £70m in the January sales Chelsea now seem to have stop buying new players. If Torres finds his scoring touch things will be fine but if he starts to misfire again Chelsea will be left fighting for the runners up spot.

Will I be that lucky?

When I read that the designer Alexander McQueen had left his dog £50,000 in his will I started to think about what I would do with so much money.  May be I could by some bling and visit some posh restaurants. Or may be I'd blow it on a cut dog walker to take me out every day to the posh haunts of London. I also started to wonder if Cheryl and Ash have got round to writing their wills yet and if I get a mention.

Cheryl ditches Ash for Simon

After all the rubbish of yesterday, today the papers say that Ash has been dumped so that Cheryl can start building bridges with Simon.  Lets just wait to see what tomorrows papers say.

Is Ash getting another chance?

Most of the Chelsea players believe that Cheryl has taken Ash back despite all the claims about him in the press. This means she is either a mug or most of the recent stories were just bullshit. I tend to think the latter is the case.

Did anyone hack Cheryl and Ash

Amid all the talk about phone hacking Cheryl and Ash have not yet been mentioned. Surely if the papers hacked into the phones of Becks and Rooney they must also have had ago at Cheryl and Ash.  May be they tried to listen to Cheryl's phone but gave in when they couldn't understand all the Geordie messages.

Where the heck is Cheryl

Over the last 6 months Cheryl has made a habit of disappearing without trace for long periods. The good rumours are that she is locked a way in a studio somewhere making a super new album. The bad rumours claim that she is in a private hospital having some cosmetic surgery. If she doesn't release a new album very soon it will be seen as proof that she's been under the knife.

Quiet news day!

You know it's a quiet news day when the papers start publishing pictures of Z-list celebs like Derek Hough at the beach with his sister.  How the heck can that be news when there are thousands of people dying in Somali. Surely the papers must have better celeb stories than this.

Where does he find the energy

According to the papers Ash had three women on the go at the same time. I really wish I had his energy. I could probably manage the sex. It's all the juggling around I would struggle with.

Is Ash off to LA?

After claiming yesterday that  Cheryl has given Ash the elbow over rumours about who he was sleeping with the papers are now saying Cheryl has been trying to persuade Ash to move to LA.  Does Ash really want to go and play football in the States?  It would be like moving to a division 2 club in this country. I'm sure that Ash has got a couple of years of premier league football left in him before he retires to the eaiser MLS

Has Ashley blown it again?

Most of the papers are claiming that Cheryl and Ash have had a major bust up after a couple of scubbers in need of publicity claimed they were still getting jiggy with Ash even though he was meant to be getting back with Cheryl.

Now these stories could be totally true then again there is always the possiblity that they were never really going to get back together and this story helps to get the papers off the hook for starting off the silly rumours about a reunion in the first place.

Make your mind up.

Now that the News of the World is no more I was forced to paw my way through the other tabloids today in search of good gossip.  Sadly most of the papers were fairly rubbish.  Whilst one paper was adamant that Cheryl was heading back the X-factor to help out in one of the judges houses another hack claimed that Simon and Cheryl have not spoken to each other for over a month. So it looks like it's all guess work at the moment at least it shows that they can't be hacking her phone.

The knives are out for Ash.

With so much talk about Ash and Cheryl getting back together it should come as no surprise that a few reporters and z-list celebs have tried to cash in on the story by trying to split the two of them up. A couple of birds he's not seen for ages are running round pretending they are deeply in love with him and claiming they are gutted that he is getting back with Cheryl. I wonder how much these z-list celebs picked up for these silly stories.

Cheryl is still in the USA

There is a fair amount of speculation about why Cheryl has stayed in the US whilst her good buddy Kimberely has already flown out. Some people claim the two have had a fall out but Kimberely hasn't got a black eye so I don't think there's been a fight.

Could Cheryl be preparing to make a shock return to X-factor?  I don't think she has got enough pulling power in the US to be in contention for a return to the show anytime soon.

Some very silly people reckon that Derek has kidnapped her to stop her getting back with Ash but I think he's too much of a wimp to do something like that.

So I can only conclude she has stayed in America to work on a new album with Wil.Iam.

When can I go to a doggie hotel

I keep reading all these stories about 5 Star hotels for dogs yet I've never been to one. What is the point being the countries top celebrity pooch if I'm not allowed to flaunt my wealth and celebrity status.  These hotels should be offering me free holidays in return for all the good publicity by stay would bring them.

Off to a flyer

Ash and the boys have got off to a flying start winning their pre-season friendly with Wycombe, even Torres managed to get a goal.  Hopefully if they can pick up a couple more class players they coud give Man U a run for their money.  United could be in trouble if the papers are right about Rooney thinking of moving abroad but I can't see it myself, Rooney struggles with English let alone trying to grasp a foreign language.

Cheryl regrets divorcing Ash

Cheryl is now telling anyone willing to listen that divorcing Ash was a big mistake. She has also revealed that Ash used to do the ironing and most of the cooking. I can't actually remember witnessing him doing too much ironing or cooking he must have done it when I was having a nap.  I reckon Ash will get his leg pulled by the Chelsea lads now they know he's so domesticated.

Will someone be calling social services?

Posh has finally popped her sprog and now she has burdened it with a bloody stupid name. What kind of name is Harper Seven? I'm sure that in some countries this kind of behaviour would be seen as child cruelty.

Just when things were starting to look up for Ashley at the Bridge one of their star players Hessien has got injured and could be out for 6 months. Roman will have to dig deep in his pocket and buy a new player like Modric to plug the gap otherwise Chelsea will have another poor year.

Hough in a huff

Derek has been sulking with Cheryl because he thinks she getting back togather with Ashley. Why is Derek making such a fuss? He's had plenty of chances to clinch the deal with Cheryl and he never managed to get past first base. He should wake up and smell the coffee and realise that Cheryl has moved on.

LA is clearly the place to be.

Looks like everybody suddenly wants to be in LA. Cheryl is there with her mates, Kate and Wills are there on a royal visit and Posh Spice is there ready to pop out another baby. What is the attraction of LA? Is it the hot weather, is it the opportunity to mingle with famous celebrities or is it the fact it's so easy to write down your location in just two letters?  Being a dog I'll probably never find out unless I'm prepared to spend 6 months in quarantine.

Chezza heads back to LA

Undaunted by all the traumas of her last visit to LA, Cheryl has head back there with a few friends. I suppose it will hep to quell the rumours about her getting bak with Ash.  I wonder if she will bump in to the Hough while she is over there. That would reay get the tongues wagging.

A quiet day for Cheryl

With all the hullaballoo in the papers today Cheryl and Ash have slipped into the shadows for awhile. If the News of the World realy does close on Sunday what will Cheryl find to do with all the time she used to waist reading that rubbish.

Is Cheryl feeling left out.

With more and more people finding out that the News  of the World has been hacking their phones Cheryl must be feeling a bit left out. Surely someone as famous as Cheryl must be worthy of the attention of phone hackers. May be they didn't bother because of her accent.

Ash has been back at work training may be after he's done a bit of excercise he will be too knackered to woo Cheryls. As more experienced players are pensioned off Ash will soon be the old man of the team.

Wedding Bells

In the space of a few weeks Ash and Cheryl seem to have gone from sworn enemies to being on the brink of getting married again. It's still not clear if they are really back in lover or whether Cheryl just wants to piss off Simon and all the other people who have let her down recently.

What happened to lazy Ash

When I shared a house with Ash I soon realised he was a bit lazy but now he's transformed himself into Mr.Active.  First he arranges a party for Cheryl, then he starts talking about opening a bar and restaurant with Jay-Z and today he's telling all the papers how Chelsea will be top dogs again next season.

Stop sticking your noses in.

Why does everyone think that they have the right to stick their noses into Cheryl's private life? If she wants to get back with Ash so what? I seem to think that it was interfering busy bodies who split them up in the first place so why don't these people but out and leave the pair of them to it.

Ash to become a master chef!

Ashley is planning to open a club and restaurant with Jay-z.  What the heck does Ash know about posh nosh? I always say him as a beans on toast or kebab kind of bloke.  I wonder if he's just doing it to impress Cheryl.

There was a dog in the paper wearing shoes, apparently he needs to wear them because he is allergic to grass. How can a dog be allergic to grass. Before we know it all kinds of owners will be rushing out buying dogs posh shoes just so they look trendy.

Happy Birthday

Cheryl has hit 28 today, it's not really a significant age unless you are in a rush to do something before you are 30. Cheryl has probably now got 2 years to crack America before she is considered a bit too old to be a popstar.  30 is always when women start trying for a baby if they have not got one already.