Cheryl Stick two finger up to Simon

According to the Daily Star Cheryl is about to stick 2 fingers up to Simon and go off and do her own version of Big Brother for £5m. If this story is as accurate as other Daily Star stories I think it is very unlikely to happen.

Poor Simon

Simon Cowell claims he's so stressed out over who should sit on the judging panel on American X-factor that he's losing sleep over it. Don't worry about losing sleep Simon a bit of botox or a nip and tuck will soon sort out the bags from under your eyes.

Rested!

Did Ash really need resting tomight? We were only playing Ghana I'm sure he could have put in a good performance without breaking sweat. The trouble with giving Chelsea players time off is that they finish up going out clubbing or getting into fights.

Still waiting

I can't believe that Simon his still dragging out the decision to name the judges for American X-factor. Does he really not now who the judges will be or his he just dragging the hole thing out for extra publicity. Even if he's not ready to tell the media yet surely he could send Cheryl a text just to put her out of her misery.

Cheryl Goes to ground again

After a brief return to public like Cheryl has disappeared into the shadows again. May be she's working on an album, she might be having private time with Derek or she ngt just be struggling to complete her census form.

What a non-event

Managed to watch Ash in action this afternoon but the match against Wales was such a non-event. Let's face it Wales have only got two good players Ryan Giggs and Gareth Bales and both of them were not available.

Ash  seems to be getting it together with a good looking bird from Hollioaks. I can only assume that the relationship must be genuine because none of women on that show can act for toffee.

Fabio has lost his Fab

When Fabio became England boss he was seen as the answer to all our problems but in reality he has failed to win any major game and he has managed to fall out with loads of players, most of the premier league managers and much of the media. The only reason he has still got a job is that it would cost the FA a fortune to pay him off.  If the boys lose to Wales I think the FA will have no choice but to give him the boot and try and get some one better.

Spring is in the air.

It looks like Summer as arrived early, I managed to get my oats in the park this morning and I don't mean I got a bowl of porridge. The bitches were gagging for it and couldn't get enough of my ding a ling.

Back in the lime-light

Cheryl has finally come out of hiding to help give out some awards with Prince Charles. May be her new role might be to become the peoples princess.

Just make you mind up Simon

In yet another twist to the US X-factor saga Simon now says that Cheryl will be a judge. So that clearts that up! Does anyone in this country really give a toss about X-factor USA or his Simon just doing all he can to drum up publicity.

What now for Cheryl?

The weasel that is Simon Cowell has now admitted that all the X-factor judges in America apart from himself will be American so that looks like a final kick in the teeth for Cheryl. He has been stringing her along for so long now that her diary is pretty empty.

She could go back to singing but a new crop of younger more talented singers seem to have taken over the charts so she might have her work cut out getting her foot back in the door.

She could try and cut it as a TV presenter but it is hard to spot any openings at the moment.

She could do more modelling but having already worked for the top companies taking work from lesser known firms would constitute a step backwards.

What a shame celebrity Big Brother has been axed. That would have been the right vehicle to relaunch her career.

When will Cheryl's picture appear on a milk carton.

With Cheryl still keeping a low profile it can only be a mater of time before someone reports her as a missing person and her picture is printed on milk cartons in LA.

Low profile

Why is Cheryl keeping such a low profile. You don't get to be a world mega star by hiding away from the cameras. Eit her she has chosen to have stay out  of the lime-light or her PR is crap.

Bring on the mancs

Ashley and the boys have got the draw they want in the Champions league United. We can now stop them winning the premiership and the champions league.

The supporting cast.

Why are Derek and Cheryl's brother getting more publicity than Chezza at the moment? The papers should concentrate on the organ grinder rather than the monkeys.

Up the blues

Chelsea are finally looking like a force to be reckoned with, bring on Fergie and the boys. I'd love to see Chelsea stuff Man United in the champions league final, the look on Fergie's face would be priceless.

Fabio does it again.

How can Fabio Capello still be the England boss? He was useless and the world cup and he has not been much better since returning from South Africa. Having upset everyone by taking the captains arm banned off of John Terry he's now upset everyone again by giving him the captains arm banned back. If he can't get the simple things right god help him with the difficult stuff.

More bads news for Chezza

Just when things couldn't get much worse Cheryl will be horrified to discover that Jordan is thinking of moving to the US for a fresh start! I some how don't think big tits and Cheryl will become bussom pals.

Well at least Cheryl's brother is having a good time in America

With all the negative stories about Cheryl in the papers at the moment it's good to see that her brother Gary is having a good time in America partying with Cheryl's 'boyfriend' Derek. Doesn't look like either Cheryl or Gary are in a rush to fly home to visit bad boy Andrew in prison.

Porridge

Cheryl's bruv got six years so he want be popping round to scrounge money for a while. I can't believe all the people who keep saying that Cheryl should have kept bailing him out to keep him out of trouble. Why should she support her lazy thuggiest bruv if he wasn't prepared to support himself.

Some researchers with plenty of time on their hands have discovered that people who have dogs and take them or walks are fitter than people who don't have dogs.  What a waste of time and money just to point out the bloody obvious.

Things must be bad.

You know things are bad when the papers start to compare you with Jordan. The Mirror today claims that Cheryl is unlucky in love just like Jordan. How do they work that out then? Jordan is about to get her second divorce and has three kids with two different fathers and is generally regarded as a slapper. Cheryl has had one husband and she has been spotted out a few times with a dancer who may or may not be her boyfriend.

Ashley off the hook.

Looks like the police have decided to take no action against Ash for the shooting incident. They clearly realised that he's so rubbish at shooting that there is no way he could have deliberately shot anyone.
Ashley's old tem Arsenal took a beating from Barca but it was fairly clear that the ref was only ever going to let one side win at it wasn't going to be Arsenal. How can you send a player off for time wasting with nearly 40 minutes to go? What a numpty.

More grief for Cheryl

Wjen it rains it pours for Chezza on top of all the bad news she's had in America there's even more bad news for her here with her brother about to get sent to prison for helping to plan a post office robbery. Who the heck robs post offices these days? With most people having their benefits paid straight into their banks about the only thing worth stealing from a post office these days are the stamps and the scratch cards. Given all his previous I'm guessing he will get at least 2 years.  I suppose while he is inside he won't be coming round here trying to get money out of his mum or Cheryl.

Heck it's cold.

Just when I thought Spring had arrived and I could get down to some serious business in the park the frost returns to leave my willy looking like a shrivelled up sausage.  Luckily we didn't spend long at the park som none of the bitches got a chance just to see how deflated I actually was. Hopefully it will get warmer tomorrow and normal service will resume.

Fatty Simon

A number of papers have started to refer to Simon as fatty. Why has Mr.Skinny suddenly started to put on weight. Is he comfort eating or s he starting to get used to wearing a bullet proof jacket before he strarts his stinrt on US X-factor.  If he is as rude to American's as he is to Brits someone is bound to pull a gun on him.

Cheryl could soon be signing on.

A few weeks ago Cheryl was on the top of the world waiting to sign up to a lucrative contract in the US. Now it looks like she's missed out on that job and she could even be getting the elbow from X-factor in this country as well with Lily Allen about to replace her. Could this mean she's had a big fall out with Simon. I can't believe he'd mess her around unless they've had some kind of bust up.

Cheryl no longer in love with the USA

Depite all the trips she's made to the states in the last 12months Cheryl now claims that she doesn't like the country, is this because she hasn't been offered a job on X-factor or because she doesn't have hundreds of people flocking round her all the time over there?

The Hokey Cokey

Cheryl still ssems to be doing the Hokey Cokey with X factor. One minute she's in then she's out, in, out shake it all about.

Cheryl looking good in white

The papers are full of pictures of Cheryl in a white dress but I'm sure it's not a sign she is about to tigh the knot again. She's probably just wearing it to wind Ash up.

Fergie is in trouble with the FA for questioning the ref at the Chelsea match, will he ever learn when to keep his gob shut?

Sour Grapes

Fergie has been moaning because he thinks that the ref was on the side of Chelsea. What a short memory he has got, if Rooney had been properly punished by the FA he would not have been on the pitch last night. I just want to see United done over by the scousers on Sunday that will really set the cat amongst the pigeons.

Sky news has spent all day trying to drum up interest in Ashley's gun toting exploits but no one seems the least bit interested. I think most people are more interested in the thousands of people who have guns in Libya at the moment.

Up the lads

Despite all the media attempts to destabilise Chelsea the boys done good and beat United 2-1. We can't win the league titles ourselves but at least we can stop united.

How many judges are there going to be on  on American X-factor? Every week that passes another name is thrown into the ring. Today it was Ceelo Green, but why would a singer at the top of his game sacrifice lucrative tour dates and recording time to share a stage with Simon Cowell?